Eddward "Double-D" Marion vs. Sheldon J. Plankton (after being unintentionally spun out by Edd 3 times in Turn #1, #28 Sheldon J. Plankton retaliates INTENTIONALLY, spinning #20 Eddward Marion in Turn #1, taking Edd out of the race. Edd showed temper while the cars were in motion under the yellow flag, threw his helmet at Plankton's car and confronted him)
(wiki-special opens inside Martinsville Speedway, inside Spongebob and Patrick's hauler with Spongebob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Pearl, Sandy, Timmy, Bubbles, Ed, Edd, Jackie, Bart, Buttercup, and Squidward eating Krabby Patties for breakfast*
Mr. Krabs: I can't believe I'm finally sponsoring me restaurant in a NASCAR race! Since NASCAR didn't put Bikini Bottom on the schedule, where The Krusty Krab is located, I had to work this out with Martinsville Speedway in order to sponsor me restaurant in a race, and finally, The Krusty Krab 500 is born!
Spongebob (excitedly): This is perhaps the greatest day of my young life!
Ed: Like birthdays?!
Edd (annoyed): Puh-lease!
Squidward: Why is the Krusty Krab being sponsored anyway?! That garbage doesn't deserve to be called food!
Sandy: Well, you're the one to talk, Squiddy! Careful you don't accidentally taste one again or else-! (in reference to the "Spongebob Squarepants episode, " Just One Bite")
Squidward: ....I have no comment.
Mr. Krabs: Sandy lass is right, Mr. Squidward! The Krabby Patty is the finest under the sea! And will be the finest over the sea!
Bart: So Tim, how come you're only eatin' one Krabby Patty and fries for breakfast? I thought you'd have a lot of Krabby Patties since I always knew you were crazy for them.
Timmy: Well, I gotta avoid a stomachache before racing and plus, I'm saving my appetite and dibs for a $2.00 Martinsville hotdog! The track's signature concession, and the best hotdogs on the planet!
Bubbles (excitedly): My favorites are veggie dogs! I once tried one that was meat and I felt bad myself being a vegan!
Bart: Hah! I'd go for the hottest of hot sauce on my Martinsville hotdog for a buck.
Jackie: This is the very first time I'd try a Martinsville hotdog. Would you like me to buy us one in a footlong so we can share it after the race?
Edd (happily): I enjoy ones that have the toppings assembled neatly!
Jackie (dreamly): So do I!
Edd (dreamly): Do tell, birthday girl.
Jackie: *nuzzles Edd's cheek*
Spongebob (cutely): Awwww, isn't that romantic, Squidward? Edd's showing love to Jackie on her birthday.....
Squidward: (in his head): I think I'm gonna throw up.
Ed: I like hot dogs too! Especially with cranberry relish and a sprig of gravy!
Patrick: I love ones with cheese, mayonnaise, ice cream, and a large pizza slice on top!
Spongebob: *giggles* I'd love THAT one, Patrick.
Buttercup: *short pause* Eeyup, they're getting stupider by the minute.
Edd: To let you know, Mr. Krabs, the track we will be racing on is a paper-clipped shape facility, so therefore, we must watch out for the tight corners in case you accidentally bump into another car in front of you. Plus, we must watch our brakes at this racetrack, so our brakes don't overheat the tires and cause brake failure. Remember, this track is really difficult on brakes, and that brake handling is a PREMIUM here in Martinsville, Virginia.
Bubbles: Safety first! Team Fastex goes the careful way!
Timmy: You're right, Bubbles. And I WOULDN'T want to be the one bumped from behind and spun out in the entrance of the corners. But anyway, Martinsville IS fun to race on, even though we all do fear of getting bumped from behind while braking into the tight corners.
Edd: And in addition, the winner of the race here in Martinsville Speedway will receive the track's signature trophy, an actual grandfather clock.
Buttercup: Looks like we must win this race for that clock so we can add it to our house. Whatta you think, B-man?
Bart: I think that clock would make the house more epic, and remind me of your parents' new house. (In reference to Professor Utonium and Mrs. Keane)
Buttercup: Awwww.... *kisses Bart on the cheek and Bart blushes*
Pearl (about Krabby Patties and fries, and onion rings for breakfast): Why are we eating this stuff for breakfast?! Gross!
Mr. Krabs: Because it's in honor of the Krusty Krab being sponsored, me girl!
Pearl (angrily): Thanks Daddy. And plus, why must I wave the green flag for the race? I wanted to give the command to start the engines. Why must YOU do it Daddy?
Mr. Krabs: Because me girl, I represent me restaurant, the Krusty Krab, and NASCAR asked me to give the command for today's race.
Spongebob (happily): WHOOPEE! And I will definitely start my engine the loudest for you, Mr. K! Even drown out Plankton's cussing. *laughs*
Mr. Krabs: And all this sponsoring and great racing will bring in customers! SO DON'T LOSE!
Spongebob: Aye aye, Captain Krabs!
Ed: This Martinsville track is so puny! This could be the world's largest home to chickens!
Edd: No, Ed. It wouldn't be home to chickens, but you are right about the track size. Martinsville IS a short-track, with the top speed being 119 mph, and the slowest speeds in the corners being around 65 mph, this really is the smallest and challenging track on the schedule.
Jackie: It's the smallest you guys have ever run on.
Ed: Can this Martinsville Speedway be the arena dedicated to chickens?
Edd and Jackie (annoyed): *turns their heads towards each other* Puh-lease! *scene cuts to "NASCAR Raceday: Served By The Krusty Krab"* pause*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): ESPN welcomes you live to the famous Martinsville Speedway, the shortest track on the NASCAR circuit for today's running of the Krusty Krab 500! This racetrack opened in 1949, and has been one of the nightmares on the NASCAR Winston Cup Series schedule. Now, NASCAR's first ever Team Championship will now tackle this paper-clip shaped racetrack and only 1 driver will take home the signature grandfather clock! Hello everyone, I'm Bob Jenkins alongside former NASCAR competitors and race analysts, Benny Parsons and Ned Jarrett. Guys, this racetrack is much full of surprises.
Benny Parsons (ESPN): Indeed it is, Bob. Mostly the bumpin' and bangin' on the straights, and hard-breakin' into these tight corners. The top speed of this racetrack is 119 mph, and the lowest speed is 65 mph in these tight corners. And the main focus is consistency, watchin' your tires, and most importantly, watchin' your brakes.
Ned Jarrett (ESPN): Indeed, Benny. This track is really hard on brakes, and you must save your brakes. If those brakes ain't watched enough, that could lead to break failure, and will send you into the wall.
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): After last week's emotional win at Texas, (in reference to the "2000 KWIK-E MART 500 Fantasy Edition" wiki) Eddward Marion might be building momentum, knowing that his older brother, Eddwin Marion his in his heart.
Benny Parsons (ESPN): Indeed, Bob. Double-D was racin' his heart out last week in Texas when he past Denzel Crocker with 3 laps to go. Double-D might have a vigorous comeback and live up to his family name. Remember, racin' is in Double-D and his family's blood, and they know they can boost Team Fastex into hopefully clinchin' a Championship.
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): And let's not forget that Eddward Marion's wife's birthday today, and a win in Martinsville today would mean a lot in this case.
Ned Jarrett (ESPN): I agree, Bob. Jackie means a whole lot to Eddward Marion. And he would DEFINITELY try and win this race for the wife that saved his life from lifelong abuse.
Benny Parsons (ESPN): Right, Ned. Edd loves his wife so much, and he'd do EVERYTHIN' for her. How about a WIN as a birthday gift for Jackie? THAT would be interestin' to see, havin' Edd in victory lane with his wife in happy tears and a possible shower of winnin' beverages in Victory Lane if her husband wins today's race. All he has to do is avoid bein' slammed out there by Team REXCOR, and he WILL pull it off today here in Martinsville, and give his wife the BEST birthday gift ever.
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Will the vigorous Double-D strike again and dominate today in Martinsville? And will his wife Jackie get the birthday gift she always wanted from her husband in the #20 car? We will find out in 500 laps. The drivers are ready, the fans are ready, and WE'RE ready for the starting of the engines here inside Martinsville Speedway! Who will take home the grandfather clock today?! In 500 laps, we will have our answer! Let's go trackside for the command!
Track P.A Announcer: And now for the most famous words in motorsports, please welcome your grand marshal, owner and CEO, of the Krusty Krab, Mr. Eugene H. Krabs! *crowd cheers loudly*
Mr. Krabs: Ye ready for racin', money--?! I mean, racefans?! *crowd cheers loudly*
Mr. Krabs: Okay, here we go! On behalf of the Krusty Krab.... GENTLEMEN, START YE ENGINES!!!! *crowd cheers EXTREMELY loudly* (in unison to the crowd cheering) WHOO-HOO!!!! *laughs heartily*
engines start and rev loudly, in unison to the HYSTERICALLY cheering crowd*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN / in unison to the crowd hysterically cheering): We're glad you're with us on ESPN, as we are about set to go here inside Martinsville Speedway! The cars are now on the backstraightaway, *crowd screams and cheers louder as the pace-car pulls into the pits* and now the pace-car ducks into pit-road as they enter Turns 3 & 4! Pearl Krabs, the daughter of Krusty Krab owner, Eugene H. Krabs, is set with the green flag! Spongebob Squarepants and Sheldon J. Plankton will lead the field down to the line... *cars accelerate to take the green flag waved by Pearl Krabs, in unison to the hysterically cheering crowd*... and Pearl waves the green flag! We're underway here in Martinsville, and The Krusty Krab 500 is on!
Barney Hall (MRN Radio): They come down to the line, green flag goes in the air, and the Krusty Krab 500 is underway. Quickly on the break it is gonna be Spongebob Squarepants leading them into the corner over in Turn #2.
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Squarepants shows the way for the first time off Turn #2 and down this long backstraightaway, but they're stacked up behind him! For the 2nd spot, swings around to the outside of Timmy Turner, and he'll get the 2nd position!
Allen Bestwick (MRN Radio): It'll be Timmy Turner sliding into 3rd with Sheen Estevez in 4th, and Eddward Marion in 5th! All those cars are single file! It's double-wide for 6th now! It is Bubbles Turner making a move around the outside of Trixie Tang!
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Trixie Tang quickly falls to the inside of the racetrack! Bubbles Turner does get by! Here's Lisa Simpson now, trying to make her move! She steps to the high side! She too will swing by the #25 Michael Holigan Chevrolet of Tang!
Barney Hall (MRN Radio): You don't wanna be caught in that outside groove, because if you're out there going into the corner, every car that's underneath you are simply gonna drive on by. Back to the line, Spongebob Squarepants leads Sheldon J. Plankton back to Turn #1.
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): The front 10 cars are now single-file! The first one stepping out of line is Blossom Neutron, who climbs the banking coming off Turn #2 in the #32 Tide Ford! Now she continues that race side-by-side with Rolf Shepherd in the #77 JASPER Ford!
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Eddward "Double-D" Marion continues to show the way here in Martinsville Speedway *scene cuts to the track* on Lap 371 of 500 laps this afternoon. Right now, the leaders are in lapped traffic, and one of those lapped cars, Sheldon J. Plankton is not too happy with Double-D after spinning him out TWICE, even though Edd did it unintentionally.
Benny Parsons (ESPN): And because of those 2 spin-outs, Plankton was put 5 laps down. And the 2nd spinout was the reason for the recent caution flag back on Lap 342. *suddenly, Plankton deliberately gets into Edd and clips him, sending him into the wall, in unison Plankton angrily cries out "AAAAUUUGGHHH!!!!" as he veers for Edd and clips him, and as he spins and hits the wall, Edd cries out "YEOOWW--!!!! UNGH!!!!"* WHOA! We have a spin, Bob!
Ned Jarrett (ESPN / in unison): There's trouble in the 1st corner!
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Double-D is in the wall!
Benny Parsons (ESPN): The leader is put in the wall in Turn #1! Plankton TURNED him! He took out the leader!
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Eddward "Double-D" Marion's day is done after being clipped by the lapped car of Sheldon J. Plankton, who he spun out TWICE today! *scene cuts to Edd's cockpit*
Edd (as Plankton was cackling evilly): Plankton! What are you doing?! First of all, you were 5 laps down in 36th place when you wrecked me as the race frontrunner, which was extremely COWARDLY! And second, Those 2 spin-outs I made of you today WEREN'T done deliberately! *scene cuts to Plankton's cockpit*
Plankton (in 33rd, 5 laps down): HAH! I find it hard to believe, ya smart-alecky, know-it-all creetin! You ain't nothing but a sock-headed liar! *scene cuts to Edd's cockpit*
Edd (furiously / shudders violently in unison): Me?!..... L-L-LIAR?!!!! No one EVER calls me, Double-D a liar!!!! *furiously exits the wrecked #20 Home Depot Pontiac* *scene cuts to ESPN Broadcast Booth*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): We are under the 9th yellow flag of the afternoon here in the Krusty Krab 500 here in Martinsville Speedway, *scene cuts to the track* Double-D has now exited his wrecked #20 Home Depot Pontiac, and he doesn't seem happy with the #28 TEXACO Havoline Ford of Plankton. *scene cuts to Edd and MRN Radio's Winston Kelley in Turns 1 & 2*
Winston Kelley (MRN Radio / as the cars were slowly coming by under the yellow flag): I'm here with with Eddward Marion at the scene of the accident, and Double-D may we ask you what happened out there?
Edd (as the cars were slowly coming by under the yellow flag / angrily): Please hold that thought, Winston! I'm afraid I have a little something for Plankton! *approaches Plankton's #28 TEXACO Havoline Ford, viciously throws his helmet at the #28 car, and goes up to his window-net and angrily confronts him as Plankton pulls away and abandons Edd*
Edd (hysterically and wildly angry / as Plankton races off into the distance along with other cars): You are a miserable, cold-hearted liar yourself, you stupid, miserable FU--*bleep*!!!! *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
Timmy (in 1st / surprised in horror): WHOA!!!! Did you see and/or hear that, guys?! *scene cuts to Bart's cockpit*
Bart (in 16th): No way, man! Double-D just OWNED Plankton! *scene cuts to Rudy's cockpit*
Rudy (in 4th): I've never seen Double-D act like that in my entire life! He threw his helmet at Plankton's car and furiously confronted him in his window-net until Plankton immediately drove away! *scene cuts to Blossom's cockpit*
Blossom (in 22nd): And I've never seen Double-D as raving mad and furious as this before! And this is the very first time we ever heard him use profanity! Which he usually never does! *scene cuts to Bubbles' cockpit*
Bubbles (in 12th / in a scared crying way / tearing up): Edd's fury scares me! I hope he settles down by the end of the race! *tears up more* A-A-A-And I can't believe I heard Edd say a nasty word!!!! *cries* *scene cuts to Penny's cockpit*
Penny (in 18th / calmly soothing Bubbles): All is well, Bubbles. Besides, Plankton was the one who infuriated Edd off the deep end, and plus that was only a mere slip of the tongue he made out of critical frustration. *scene cuts to Bubbles' cockpit*
Bubbles (in 12th / with tears in her eyes): Thank you, Penny. I feel so much better. Double-D is always our friend even if he has his moments.
(in Turns 1 & 2, on the backstretch, backstraightaway, and in Turns 3 & 4)
Crocker (in 2nd): I've caught you now, Turner! You'd better watch out, because I will be all over your rear bumper! And not even your (in unison, has a spaz attack) FAIRY GODPARENTS would help you get away with short-track racing! *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
Timmy (in 1st): Geez Louise, you and your spaz attacks, Crockpot! First off all, my fairies are NASCAR Drivers like us, and second, I know how to handle short-tracks, and I'll prove it to a smelly, smart-alecky, F-giving evil teacher like you! *scene cuts to Crocker's cockpit*
Crocker (in 2nd): *scoffs* I'd like to see you try, Turner! *scene cuts to ESPN Broadcast Booth*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering Timmy on): We now have 3 laps to go here in Martinsville! *scene cuts to the track* Who will take home the grandfather clock today?! Will it be Timmy Turner or Denzel Crocker?! They're not waiting for the last lap!
Benny Parsons (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering Timmy on): Crocker got the good run off that time off the 2nd corner! He's closin' in more on Timmy Turner! That kid REALLY must watch his back, cause that Denzel Crocker IS COMIN'!
Bob Jenkins (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering Timmy on): They come off the 3rd and 4th corner! 2 laps to go here in the Krusty Krab 500 at Martinsville! Timmy Turner remains the race leader--! *in unison Timmy wobbles a little coming into Turn #1, still keeping the race lead, and Timmy exclaims "WHOA-HOA!" in unison to his wobble*
Benny Parsons (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering Timmy on): WHOA, Timmy doesn't get into the corner that well, and here comes Crocker peekin' to the outside! *audio switches to MRN Radio*
Ned Jarrett (ESPN): This battle is gettin' more and more intense, guys.
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): They now exit the corner, where Turner will now slam the door on Crocker on the high side down the backstraightaway! *scene cuts to Crocker's cockpit*
(in Turns 3 & 4)
Crocker (in 2nd): HEH! Told you ya can't handle short-tracks! *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
Timmy (in 1st): TEST ME, CROCKPOT! Clock's tickin' for ya! *scene cuts to ESPN broadcast Booth*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering Timmy on): The white flag is out here in Martinsville Speedway! *scene cuts to the track* Can Timmy hold him off?!
Benny Parsons (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering Timmy on): Man, oh man! Turner don't want Crocker to get that win, Bob!
Bob Jenkins (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering Timmy on): Crocker goes to the high side, Timmy might be in danger as they make their way in and outta the corner! *audio switches to MRN Radio*
Joe Moore (MRN Radio / hysterically): They now race side-by-side down the backstraightway, bumping, banging, and bashing each other's fenders as they enter the final corners for the final time! Who will win it here at Martinsville?! *audio switches to ESPN*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering as Timmy wins): They're still side-by-side into the corners! Timmy Turner's gonna get the advantage, and now he shoves Denzel Crocker up the racetrack as they come off the corner! Will he do it?! Yes! Timmy Turner will win The Krusty Krab 500 here in Martinsville! An incredible battle between him and Denzel Crocker! (in unison, Timmy happily cries out while pumping his fist out the window, "YEAH!!!! GRANDFATHER CLOCK, HERE I COME!!!!! TAKE THAT, CROCKPOT!!!!")
Benny Parsons (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering at Timmy's victory): (in unison, Timmy laughs triumphantly, and Crocker angrily cries out "RRRGHH!!! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, TURNER!!!!") That was TYPICAL Martinsville racin' by those 2 drivers! Now Timmy Turner will now take home his first ever Martinsville Grandfather Clock.
Bill Weber (ESPN): Timmy Turner, after a tremendous short-track battle with a hard-charging Denzel Crocker, unstraps himself from the car, and puts his winner's hat on, and gets himself ready to climb outta the car and celebrate. This is Timmy Turner's first ever short-track win, and he did it in spectacular fashion. Short-track racing was his dream and goal to accomplish in NASCAR, and now that dream has come true, and the goal had been achieved. *in unison, Timmy climbs out of his #24 DUPONT Chevrolet to celebrate his win* And here he comes now! (#24 team and crowd cheers in unison)
Timmy (celebrating / with his #24 team and the crowd cheering in unison): *while raising his right fist in the air* WHOOOO!!!! YEAH! *pounds the roof of his #24 DUPONT Chevrolet in victory* YEAH!!!! *climbs on his roof, in unison to his #24 team spraying Gatorade everywhere, and Timmy sprays his Diet PEPSI on his team, drinks it and pours it on himself* WHOOOO!!!! *jumps off of the car* Yeah, baby! *in unison throws his fist in victory* WHOO!
Bill Weber (ESPN): So Timmy Turner, how does it feel to really grab your first ever win on a short track, especially Martinsville?
Timmy (being interviewed by ESPN's Bill Weber): Well, it feels really cool and hip to win on a short-track, and Martinsville was my DREAM track to win. Had dreams about it in my sleep in the past whether if I'm in bed or napping on the sofa, but now those dreams have FINALLY come true, and that is winning at Martinsville! And plus, I need to thank everyone at Team Fastex for helping me to victory today, especially my #24 pit-crew, my family, friends, and every Team Fastex fan out there (in unison the crowd cheers loudly). Crocker was really goin' after me, but like in my dreams I had, I managed to hold him off and grab the win here at my dream track to win, Martinsville Speedway.
Bill Weber (ESPN): Timmy Turner, really happy and proud of his win here in Martinsville, Virginia. To Marty Snider, he's with runner-up finisher, Denzel Crocker.
Marty Snider (ESPN / while chasing Crocker with the media): Hey Crocker, you mind telling us what happened out there?
Crocker: Leave me alone, I don't wanna hear it! *slams the door of his #99 EXIDE Batteries Ford hauler as he entered it*
Marty Snider (ESPN): Well, there you have it. Denzel Crocker, not very pleased on what happened with his dramatic short-track battle with Timmy Turner. Back to you, Bob, B.P, and Ned in the booth.